It’s Been A Year

Well guys, it’s officially been over a year since I’ve blogged. I’m sure your all asking yourself why Jackie? Why? Because life has quite literally kicked my ass lately. And is continuing to do so on almost a daily basis. I guess I should start off with where I left off in my life in December of 2016. I found I was pregnant somewhere around that last blog. And let me say we were shocked and scared and just in general not ready. Mostly because we had been attempting to prevent pregnancy. My pregnancy was rough. Like very rough. Vomiting for days. Dizziness. Anxiety. And two kids already kicking my butt. I wanted to post a blog when we found out the gender but well that never happened because that week was literally insane. The day we found out we were expecting a beautiful baby….

Girl!!!!

Obviously of no shock to anyone we were having a girl. Around the same time my Dad had surgery and my Mom was put in the hospital as well. Nora had her second birthday shortly after all of this. I wish I had blogged about her party but I was still so sick and life just kept hitting.

Shortly after her party my parents decided to get a divorce. Witch is something I haven’t really spoken to anyone about except my husband. It literally hit me harder then I ever expected it to. Keep in mind these are two people that my entire life I knew weren’t meant to be together. But it still hurt. And for some reason felt like my fault. And it hit my kids very hard. Especially Elli. So hard that we have struggled with her since.

After my parents spilt it was basically just weeks of going through everything at their old place and being so sick. My body tried to go into labor at 35 weeks but luckily they were able to stop it.

We managed to make it past Elli’s 4th birthday party!

Witch was a blessing! Because I was so worried she would be born on Elli’s birthday.

Her due date was fast approaching and signs of labor had kinda cooled off. So my OBGYN decided to induce me the night of my due date. And on September 20th 2017 Lorelai Grace was born!

I’ve really talked about my experience with her birth. It was very different for me emotionally. Literally the night I had her I felt so so so alone. Like I was so happy that this beautiful thing was mine and my husband’s. But I felt so alone. Like I had just lost part of me. And that part of me was now outside my body and I needed to protect it no matter what. Like I didn’t feel like me unless I was holding her. I spent the first few weeks after her birth not wanting her out of my sight because I thought she would die. Along with feeling so overwhelmed. I was so depressed. Elli was acting out about the events with my parents and having another sibling and I felt like I was slowly losing her. And Nora was adjusting to not being the baby anymore. I wasn’t sleeping because I was trying to breast feed and she wasn’t getting enough so she was basically latching 24/7 and screaming when she wasn’t latched. I felt like dying. I wanted to die. And I couldn’t stop the feeling. I just wanted to hurt myself to make me myself not feel at all.

I’m aware that it was postpartum depression. And I knew it was. So my husband convinced me to get help. My OBGYN changed my anxiety and depression medicine and recommended therapy.

I’m doing better now. Juggling being a mom of 3 is getting easier. And I’m slowly getting in a routine.

Christmas was great. My Mom spent it here with the kids and they had probably the best one they have ever had.

Christmas night was spent with the rest of the family. I was so busy that I didn’t take any pictures unfortunately.

We all had a cold on Christmas as well so no one was feeling well at all.

We went from Christmas until the last week or so with the cold to having a stomach flu. Witch today we are all just now getting over.

I’m wanting to start blogging again. I can’t say I’ll have a set schedule because life keeps getting the best of me but I’m definitely going to try and write at least once a week. I’d also like to start adding make up into my blog somehow. But we will see how that goes.

And as always stay beautiful. πŸ’—

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Hey there remember me?Β 

Hey there long time no see right? You all probably thought I forgot about you guys right? Nope! Life just has hit hard lately so I probably should catch you all up on our life right?

First off we adopted a doggy! 

Yep that’s her and all her puppy cuteness! She’s about 11 weeks old right now and we got her at about 8 weeks. Her name is Rory (you all know I gotta get my Gilmore Girls in there somehow!) and we are pretty sure she’s a lab/pit mix. She’s the sweetest little thing. 
Next off obviously we have been Christmas shopping. The kids are completely done. Santa did good this year. Not to toot his own horn or anything. πŸ˜‰ Also why the heck do they make baby dolls that poop and pee? Elli asked for one (Santa may of gotten her one. Haha) but these things are so expensive and if you wanna change a diaper kid Nora wouldn’t mind you changing hers and it won’t cost Santa anything. haha 

Shopping for Nora was hard this year because she’s not into very much yet except animals really and dress up. She’s in love with dressing up. (Santa may of gotten her that as well. haha) Elli asked Santa for so much he had a hard time picking. 
We did secret Santa with my family and I got my sister in law. I can’t really say what I got her because honestly I have no idea if she reads my blogs. Is she does then she knows I have her name now. haha 
On a more serious note I have been really struggling with anxiety lately. Like to the point that I was put on Lexapro (sp?) and it had been helping a lot. But the last few days I’ve gotten to where I have at least one bad panic attack every evening. I’ve had worse obviously but these are different from any other panic attacks I’ve ever had. I shake, I hyperventilate, I can’t breathe, I don’t wanna be touched, I feel like I’m falling apart. I’m used to most of that but I’ve never been like don’t touch me. Usually I just want someone to hug me and make me feel like everything is okay. These if anyone touches me I just feel like I can’t move and I’m just repulsed by anyone even near me. 

Hopefully making a doctors appointment soon to get all this figured out. I hate having an anxiety disorder that I can’t control. It makes me feel like a failure. And it’s something I can’t help. I know that. But I desperately wanna feel normal. 
I’ll update you all more in a few days. I promise after the holidays I should be back on a normal blogging schedule. And as always stay beautiful. 

Gilmore Girls: ReviewΒ 

Hey Guys! Remember me? That person who’s supposed to be keeping up with her blog and hasn’t been? Yep she’s back. And with a review I’ve literally been waiting to write since the original series ended! That’s right ladies and gentlemen Gilmore Girls is back! As a super fan from the original series I feel like this is my duty to write. Even if it’s not I’m still gonna write it. Just saying if you haven’t watched it I will be spoiling it. 

Let’s start off with that ending. Seriously you leave me with “I’m pregnant!”?  πŸ˜± What am I supposed to do with that? All I gotta say is it better be Logans and they better make another season. Netflix I’m looking at you! What if it’s the Wookies?? You can’t leave me like this! I’m wracking my brain trying to figure this out. Damn you amy sherman-palladino! 

Rory writing a book? This one I always knew would happen. Just never thought it would be Gilmore Girls. But it make sense. This made me happy. 

All the guest stars. Mae Whitman? I screamed at the tv! Right in my Parenthood feels guys! This had to be my favorite! Not to mention the other Parenthood guest stars! Rachel Ray? This one was amazing too. sutton foster made my inner Bunhead happy! So did the other few guest stars from there too! 

Rory’s exs? Jess? My Goodness he looks amazing and I feel like he’s still totally the one Rory should be with. Dean seems happy and has 3 kids? And one on the way! Glad he’s happy. Logan is still an ass in my opinion. He’s cheating on his fiancΓ© with Rory! And Rory is cheating on her boyfriend with him. Oh and she has a one night stand with a Wookie? What’s that about! I was honestly disappointed in Rory. She just seemed so lost in her love life and just in life in general. But her writing in the Stars Hallow Paper did seem like the right thing for her. 

Her new boyfriend was just weird and definitely NOT Rory. 

Lorelei and Luke! My all time favorite couple get married! This was my favorite part of the whole thing. I almost cried when they got married. It was just something that had needed to happen for so long. I’m so glad they are happy! I was really hoping for another baby though! Hint hit Netflix! 

 Seeing Chris at his fathers company for some reason seemed right. He always hated the idea but I think all those crappy jobs he had before made me think this was definitely the right fit for him. He seemed happy though and that’s a good thing. Because he always seemed like he was longing for something he needed. 

Taylor. He’s still annoying. End of story. 
April is still weird and still not a favorite of mine. She seems crazy. haha
Michel is gay? I honestly should of seen it coming but didn’t. haha And he’s married? That I definitely didn’t see coming. He was always so rude! I was surprised he hadn’t left the Inn before now because he always seemed like he didn’t wanna be there. 
Sookie only being in the last episode for a few seconds made me so sad! She was one of my favorite characters. I never thought she would leave the inn! 
Lane and Zach are still so awkward but amazing together and their twins are adorable. I was so happy they are still together.

Paris. What can I even say about her. She’s still a bitch. But I never saw her having kids or having them with Doyle. They are divorced though. Her job just blew my mind even more! 
Someone I didn’t expect to see was Jason! I always like him but when he showed up I screamed at the tv again because that was a shocker!
Richard dying is the saddest thing by far. We all knew he wouldn’t be in the revival because Edward Herrmann passed away. I just felt so sorry for Emily. She seemed so alone. I felt like her selling the house and finding a place she felt at home was so good for her. She could finally heal and become her own person. This was the only person I felt like they closed the story on. 

Can we talk about that like 15 minutes part of Summer with the musical? Did anyone else really get annoyed with this part? I love Sutton Foster but my goodness they could of made it shorter! 

Allover I was so happy with the revival! The ending was a huge shocker but I feel like they ended it this way so they can leave it open for more episodes possibly. We will see I guess! As a diehard Gilmore Girls fan I’ll watch anything they come out with so I’m hoping for more!! 

As always stay beautiful! 😜

Because I didn’t vote…

Because I didn’t vote I keep being told I’m not aloud to have an opinion about who was elected president. Because I didn’t do my “duty” as an American. Well guess what, I didn’t vote and I do have an opinion. I won’t shove it down everyone’s throats or post it all over Facebook. But I still didn’t vote and am entitled to my opinion. 

Just like in 2 years if he doesn’t do his job and you voted for him you have the right to have an opinion on that. And you have a right to or not to vote for him again in 4 years.

What am I teaching my children if I vote for someone I don’t believe in? I’m telling them it’s okay to back something you don’t believe in. And in my opinion that’s wrong. So for that very reason I didn’t vote yesterday. I couldn’t say that I believed in either candidate so I opted not to vote. And because I am an American I have that right not to vote. Just like you have the right to vote. 
Who we pick as the president is a big thing. As it should be. And I don’t think we should just throw a vote out there for some dead monkey just because “I have to vote” or for someone I don’t think is qualified for the job. It’s just not right. 

I didn’t not vote because I didn’t do my research. It’s the exact opposite. I didn’t vote because I did do my research. And I couldn’t honestly say I backed either person. 
So don’t make me feel awful just because I didn’t vote. I do have opinions but I will keep them to myself about who won. And I’m sorry if this offends anyone but I feel like this needed to be said. 
As always stay beautiful. ❀️

You Know Your a Mom Of A Toddler When….

I thought this would be a fun article to write! I hope you all enjoy it

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When your child has a meltdown because you gave her a green lid instead of a pink one. Please just drink your milk. It’s a lid. Seriously.

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When you give her sister the fruit snacks she said she didn’t want and she starts screaming and crying that they are hers and you must remove them from her sisters mouth this instant. Dude we have more chill out.

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When you make the dinner they asked for and they tell you they don’t want it. They haste Mac and cheese. Please just eat your macaroni and cheese. You ate some 4 days ago and didn’t complain then.

πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’šπŸ’š
When they tell you “I’m Elli I can do whatever I want.” Maybe this is just 3 year olds. But seriously kid I’m Mom and you do whatever I say. Without the attitude please.

πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›πŸ’›
When they ask for a bite of your food, hate it, gag, and almost puke after you said they wouldn’t. I told you kid. I guess you live and you learn.

πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—
When you tell them it’s bedtime and they ask for one more story, a snack, milk, potty break, another snack because they didn’t like the first one, a different blanket, the light on, the original snack you gave them because they want it now, the light off, another potty break, a refill on the milk you gave them 30 minutes ago, a kiss, a hug, another potty break, and the 15 stuffed animals out of the toy bin you just cleaned up. It’s 12 at night please child I’ll pay you 15 bucks to just go to sleep. 
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When you cannot potty alone under any and I any circumstance. Yeah I totally love shitting with an audience. 
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When you just spent an hour folding all the clothes and before you can put them away they unfold them, drag them into the living room, put some in the sink, and try and drowned the rest. Please just let me fold them. Just once. Please.

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When they find the candy stash you’ve had for weeks, take it and hide in the corner trying to devour all of it before you catch them. Nora I’m onto you kid.
πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ’“

When you can’t just leave the house. You have to find shoes, a snack, a sippy, another sippy (I got two kids) , diapers, extra undies, wipes, maybe a change of clothes, a different snack just because the first one probably won’t be what they want, your keys, your purse, 16 toys, socks, hair tie, and finally your shoes. Need I say more?!

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When you never get to eat dinner hot. Oh, you need help eating okay. Oh, you need more milk. No, you can’t poop in the cat box. No you can’t have a snack we are eating dinner. No I’m not getting up again. Fine one last potty break. I love cold food. Sarcasm? Yep.

πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’—

When you cook a nice big meal and your child says “eww” to everything. Seriously, you can’t try one bite? Just one. You can watch YouTube if you do. Oh, you do like it. That’s what I thought. πŸ˜’

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Honestly I could think of 100 more of these so let me know if you enjoyed this! Maybe I’ll do a part two! And as always stay beautiful! 

Adult Coloring Book ReviewΒ 

I feel like this had been a huge trend the last couple years. My doctor recommended that I use them for my anxiety but at first I thought this sounds amazing because I don’t have to color Doc McStuffins or Barney (is he still a thing?). It’s such a relaxing thing for me. If you have anxiety then I highly recommend you try one. They have ones for basically any interest you have. Anything from Cars to tea cups, vogue to Disney, 90’s Nick to Cuss words (yep they make one). Today I’m going to reviewing a few that I’ve tried. And reviewing different ways to color them. 
The first one I am going to be reviewing and honestly I think it’s my favorite. I just recently got this one and I think I might be obsessed! I first saw the Vogue coloring book at Target but by the time I went back to get it they had sold out. So we went looking for a copy and finally found it at Barnes And Noble for about $15 with tax. They make a couple other versions as well of the Vogue coloring books and I’ll probably purchase those sometime in the future. Honestly I love the way it’s made more like a book. It’s so nicely made and it just feels so much nicer then most of the ones I own. If you don’t like sketch type drawings then this isn’t for you because they all are sketches. It’s basically collection of vogue models dressed in 1950’s and 1960’s clothing. They give you a little description to the side about how the model is dressed and the color of the original outfit. So far in this book I’ve only been using markers and I’m really loving it. Most of the ones I’ve seen people have done in colored pencils but I really like the feel markers give this book. 

I definitely recommend this one if you love fashion. Especially older fashion! 
Next I’m going to show you what I’ve been using to color them with. I’ve mainly been using two sets of markers.

This first one I got at Target in their dollar section for $3 I believe and they are double tipped markers. One side is super small and thin. The other side is thicker but still not super thick. I have to say I love these markers because of the smaller tip. They are amazing for small areas. Witch in adult coloring books are very plentiful! If your book doesn’t have thick enough pages though the color will bleed through. But for 3 bucks I can’t complain! I really love that this set has a “grey” but on paper is more silver and it’s great for the fashion books! 

This next set I found at Hobby Lobby for $5. 

I like these because they can be thick or thin with one tip. And they go on so smoothly! Also they are washable so the kids can use them too. These don’t tend to bleed through as much unless you are just coloring super hard. I have noticed though that they tend to run out of ink if your coloring for a long period of time or over a large space. I think these markers need to be stored too down so that doesn’t happen though. 

I’ve also used colored pencils before but they just don’t give me the color payoff that I want! My husband prefers them though so it’s totally a preference thing. 

Next is a coloring book I kinda bought on a whim in Walmart one day. It’s the tribal patterns book. I don’t remember how much I paid for this one. I believe it was $10 or close to that though. 

This one is larger then the average coloring book. But I like that about it. And I love that it has super thick pages. I’ve colored both colored pencils in it and markers and again I prefer the markers. This one doesn’t bleed at all with markers and I love that. The only down fall is since they are larger you get fewer pictures to color. But these ones would make awesome posters after you color them. 

This is one fully colored in markers. 
Next is probably my least favorite. And I feel like that’s because I paid $1 for it in the dollar spot at Target. 

I think this one was meant for kids but it has adult coloring pages in it as well so it is kinda confusing. It has like activity pages for kids in it but I just ignore them and let the kids do those. This one is not meant for markers because it bleeds so bad. I’ll have to save this one for colored pencils only. I might even end up just giving it to the kids!
Up next are the two my husband has. I believe they were $5 or $6 a piece. 

These are for those people who love small intricate details. Witch I personally love but I prefer to color a dress or an animal over just a pattern. He mostly colors these in colored pencils so I don’t know if markers would work very well or not. But the pages are pretty thick so I’d say you can. Believe these are one sided so you wouldn’t have to worry about bleeding through either.

And last but not least is the one I don’t have a picture for because I’m not exactly sure where it is because I haven’t used it in so long because it’s almost completely colored but I have the original as seen tv one. I’m going to try and find a picture online so if I did I’ll insert it here. I believe I paid $5 or something on sale. 

This one I liked because it came with colored pencils but at the same time it didn’t have a lot of pages. I do recommend it if your starting out! I’m not even sure if they still make it though. I’ve had it for about 2 years. I always used colored pencils but it recommended markers as well. I just never tried them with it because I liked the pencils at the time. 
I hope you all enjoyed this blog! I know it was different.

And as always stay beautiful! 😘

Will it Recipe?: KFC Famous BowlsΒ 

Honestly I get so bored with eating the same meals over and over. Witch we are so guilty of. And eating prepared food so much. I feel like I’m so used to just throwing on a box of Mac and cheese or popping a corn dog in the microwave. Recently me and my husband have decided to look up recipes and try them. Today I’m going to be showing you how to make one of my favorite things. Me and my husband are addicted to the famous bowls from KFC. But they definitely aren’t good for you. We were looking up recipes and for some reason my husband came across some sort of mashed potato casserole dinner type thing and it hit me I could totally make a famous bowl! So here’s how to make it: 
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You will need: 
This recipe is to make enough for 2 adults, 2 toddlers, and my husbands lunch for the next day. 

2 Cups Fried chicken (I used pre cooked just because I have children and need something I don’t have to cook over all day.) This is the kind I use just because it tastes so close to the chicken at KFC. 
8 Servings Of Mashed Potatoes (I used the instant ones but you can make your own. You will probably need 3-4 cups of potatoes but if you are making instant just make 8 servings)  
2 Packets Of Brown Gravy (you can make your own as well but I highly recommend making more then you think you will need because I only bought 1 packet and it wasn’t enough) 
1 Can Of Corn (you may use frozen as well)
2 Cups Of Cheese (I used cheddar but you can You any kind you like) 
Here is how mine turned out: 
It tastes almost exactly like the real thing. The gravy has a tad different taste and I highly recommend making sure you have plenty of gravy because you definitely need it otherwise it gets kinda dry. But overall I’m happy with what I’ve came up with!!
And as always stay beautiful! I hope you all enjoyed this new segment on my blog! Let me know what you though!