This is a post that I think every first time Mom should see. I wish I’d had someone tell me these things when I had my oldest. It’s all so new and overwhelming. So without making my intro too long here are “10 Things They Don’t Tell You While You Are Pregnant!”
My number one thing I tell new Moms is don’t be afraid to ask for help!
When I had my oldest I thought I had to do it all myself because if I had someone else take a shift I was less of a Mom or something. The first night how with her I stayed up all night watching her sleep because I was so scared that if I fell asleep I’d wake up and she wouldn’t be breathing. I stayed up for days tell I was worn so thin that I started having anxiety and my doctor told me to let my Mom take her for a few hours so I could nap. So I did. And that was the best 3-4 hours of sleep I ever got. So if you need help don’t be afraid to ask for help. Ask your husband, Mom, best friend, Grandma, someone to watch the baby for 30 minutes while you shower and eat or take a nap. Trust me that shower after not having one for a week is the best feeling in the world. Or that warm food when all you have had is 6 stale cheese crackers all day. Trust me you deserve it.
My second one is you aren’t going to break him/her.
I literally handled my first born like I was going to break her if I even touched her. A nurse at her first doctors appointment laughed at me and said “With their first baby Moms pick them up like they are the finest crystal but witch their second they flop them up on the table and say stay there.” I am by no means saying be rough they are only babies and they do need to be handled with care but you won’t hurt their arm taking their clothes off or moving them.
My 3rd thing is you will lose friends.
I don’t care how many people tell you that they are there for you while you are pregnant some won’t be when you’ve been up all night and they call wanting to make plans and your like “but I just got Timmy to sleep for the first time all night and I was going to eat this tub of chocolate ice cream and do my dishes.” I had quite a few friends before I had my first and most left. After my second I can count my friends on one hand. But that’s okay because I have two beautiful little girls and an amazing husband who truly is my best friend.
Number four is if you breastfeed you’re boobs are no longer yours, or your husbands, they are the babies. And until you stop they will be the babies and only the babies.
I breastfed my younger daughter and oh my goodness no one told me how attached babies get to your boobies. My husband hated me breastfeeding. Not in a unsupportive kind of way but a he hardly got to see my boobs unless they baby was using them kind of way. Your baby will become very attached. And anything that gets in the way of that will get screamed and yelled at. You’re boobs are the babies.
Number 5 you’re body most likely won’t just “bounce back”.
At most your baby will probably be 9 lbs. One of mine was 6 lbs and one was 7. You’ll probably lose around 15 after delivery. I gained about 40 lbs with my first and about 30 with my second. With my first within the first two weeks I was down almost 30lbs. But within the first two months my depression and anxiety got so severe that I lost another almost 30 lbs. Now with my second I lost about 15 after having her and now I’m up about 40 lbs. Your body will be so different after having your baby. It may not be the way you wanted it to look. But girl you carried a baby and that’s something to be damn proud of. Working out will help but don’t even worry about it until your doctor clears you to do so. You need that time to recover. Trust me. Your hips are going to be wider as well and that one you can’t do much about.
Number 6! Kids eat what they want and when they want!
You just made a nice fancy organic meal? Go ahead and put it on the table for your baby or toddler. He didn’t but 3 bites any? Yeah, they tend to be that way some days. When my oldest started eating baby food I thought I’m going to make all her food and she’s going to have nothing but organic and she’ll never see candy. I was oh so very wrong. She hated, and I mean HATED my baby food. She refused baby LED weaning. And hated most vegetables. She only liked when I made a berry smoothie and added it to baby cereal. That’s all she would eat for breakfast. She ate that tell she was almost 20 months old every single morning for breakfast. She would only eat packaged baby food and only select flavored. She did however love yogurt and if I had let her she would of eaten it for every meal. Her sister will eat anything. And I mean anything. Kale, cheese, bananas, etc. They will also eat nasty things. My youngest ate cat food once. And she’s attempted to eat plastic. (That was a scary one.) Both of them will drop food on a dirty floor and before you get to them eat it and look oh so happy about it. Kids are gross. And very picky eaters. So don’t stress of they don’t eat your organic kale, chia seed, mango, pineapple smoothie. And let them be kids. Mac and cheese won’t kill them and neither will the occasional kidsmeal.
We are on number 7 now. The hormones don’t go away after birth. Sorry.
Your going to lose your freaking mind. Just ask my husband. I was a cranky bitch for several months after having our youngest. Every single thing made me cry or get pissed for no reason. The only fight me and my husband have had was right after I had our youngest and I was so hormonal everything pissed me off. It’s okay to cry though. And you will. Just don’t kill anyone. That tends to be frowned upon. haha
Number 8! Unless the person you are talking to is the child’s father or a doctor their opinion doesn’t matter on how you raise your child. That’s right I mean your Grandma too.
My Grandma has always picked apart my parenting because I don’t parent the way she does. I chalk it up to her being old and try and ignore it. But somewhere down the line someone is going to say something like (this is one of my Grandmas favorites) “cover that baby up she’s freezing!” or “why are you still breastfeeding?”. At this point I’m used to (or at least as much as I can be) to having people tell you how to parent. Plain and simple, I birthed this child right? No? She came out of me right? Yes? Did you help me make this baby? No? Then shove your opinion up your judgmental ass. Granted I’m never going to tell my Grandma that because she would murder me for that but I can definitely think it. haha
Number 9? Formula or breastfeeding?
Do whatever makes you and your baby happy. The End! No really, don’t ever let anyone tell you to do one or the other unless it’s a doctor obviously. I’ve don’t both. Breastfeeding is not a walk in the park and definitely not for everyone. It’s time consuming and sometimes you just wanna give up. Formula is not “the lazy way out”. You ever not produce enough and see your baby struggling to get anything out and being so depressed because you can’t feed your child? Well I have and its heart breaking. But thank god for formula. I breastfeed my youngest tell 6 months and I was so happy I did it. I supplemented too. With my oldest I struggled so hard and after two weeks went strictly to formula. You do you and don’t worry about what anyone else says.
Finally number 10? Are you sick of my advice yet? Haha Anyway, sex after the baby?
You will still have sex. But you’ll get more creative. You’ll have sex with the baby in the room. And don’t say you won’t because girl you will. Especially when it’s been 3 weeks and you and your husband can’t take it anymore and the baby who’s been crying for two hours just fell asleep in the bouncer in your room and if you move her into her room she can and will wake up. Sex will be interrupted. Always. And you may not even want sex for awhile. That’s okay too. You’ll also learn what the term “quicky” means.
Anyway, stay beautiful ladies.